The Likes to Dislikes Technique: How NLP Submodalities Change the Way You Feel About a Habit

Have you ever promised yourself “just one biscuit” and then found yourself at the bottom of the packet?

Most people blame willpower. But in NLP we look at something else: the picture you’ve got in your head. Because every craving comes with a picture, and the details of that picture tell your brain how much you want it.

Those details are called submodalities. In this post I’ll explain what NLP submodalities are, how the driver submodality works, and walk you through the Likes to Dislikes technique I teach on my NLP Practitioner course.

What are NLP submodalities?

Submodalities are the finer details of the pictures, sounds and feelings we create in our minds. They’re how we encode and give meaning to our experiences.

In NLP, the modalities are our senses: visual (what we see), auditory (what we hear), kinesthetic (what we feel), olfactory (what we smell), gustatory (what we taste) and auditory digital (our self-talk). The submodalities sit within each of those. For a picture, they might be:

• Colour or black and white
• Near or far
• Bright or dim
• Big or small
• Framed or panoramic
• Still or moving
• Where it sits: in front of you, to the side, up high or down low

The theory is simple. Change the submodalities and you change the meaning. Change the meaning and you change how you feel, how you move and what you do next.

What is an internal representation?

It’s estimated that around 11 million bits of information are available to our senses every second. Our minds delete, distort and generalise most of it, based on our values, beliefs, memories and past decisions. What’s left becomes our internal representation: the version of events we create inside our heads.

That internal representation is linked to our state (how we feel) and our physiology (how we move and hold ourselves), and together they shape our behaviour and our results.

Before I trained in NLP, I’m not sure I’d have understood this. I didn’t notice what I was creating in my head. I just knew I felt a certain way. Once you learn to notice the pictures, you can start to change them.

What is the driver submodality?

When we compare two internal representations, we look for the driver submodality: the detail that, when you change it, changes everything else. It’s usually the location of the picture.

I explain it like a bus. The passengers get on, and wherever the driver takes the bus, the passengers go too. Move where the picture sits and the rest of the details tend to come with it.

The Likes to Dislikes technique, step by step

Likes to Dislikes is an NLP submodalities technique that helps someone stop wanting something they currently like but wish they didn’t. Think afternoon biscuits, crisps or one too many fizzy drinks. It uses two NLP processes: contrastive analysis (comparing two pictures) and mapping across (moving the details of one into the other).

1. Get permission. “Is it all right if your unconscious mind makes this change today, and for you to be aware of it consciously?”
2. Find the like. “As you think about how much you like it, do you have a picture?” Then go through the details with a submodalities checklist.
3. Clear the screen. A quick break in thinking before moving on.
4. Find the dislike. Something similar they really dislike. “As you think about how much you really dislike it, do you have a picture? Where is it?” It needs to be in a different place.
5. Compare the two. Notice which details are different, especially the location.
6. Move it. Take the picture of the thing they like and move it to where the disliked picture lives.
7. Seal it in. “You know the noise a car door makes as it closes? Seal that in now.”
8. Break state and test. “Can you smell coffee?” Then: “How do you feel about it now?” and “Imagine a time you might be tempted. What happens now?”

The exact wording matters. Every question creates a picture in the listener’s mind, so “as you think about how much you like it” gets you the picture you actually want to work with.

What if the pictures are in the same place?

It’s rare, but occasionally both pictures sit in the same spot. Pick something else to compare. If that still happens, swap the other details instead, such as whether the person sees the scene through their own eyes or sees themselves in it, or change colour to black and white and move it further away.

“It worked so well she didn’t notice”

When I first trained in NLP, I wanted to practise everything, so I put a post on Facebook offering to help. A lady got in touch about chocolate chip cookies. She was eating a full pack every day and couldn’t stop.

I did this exact technique with her. At the end she didn’t say much, and I didn’t dare ask for a testimonial. A couple of days later she messaged me. She hadn’t been sure what had happened at the time, but three days on, she realised she hadn’t once reached for the cookies.

Sometimes the change is so natural people don’t even notice it’s happened.

Ecology: look at the whole person

In NLP, ecology means checking that a change supports the person, the people around them and the wider world. So before you change a habit, ask why it’s there.

If someone raids the biscuit tin every afternoon, it might be because they skipped lunch and they’re starving. Taking away the biscuits doesn’t fix that. A good coach looks at the bigger picture, asks permission, and never does a technique on someone without them knowing.

Frequently asked questions

What are submodalities in NLP?

Submodalities are the finer details of our internal pictures, sounds and feelings, such as brightness, size, distance and location. They’re how the mind codes meaning, so changing them can change how we feel about something.

What is the Likes to Dislikes technique?

It’s an NLP submodalities technique where you compare the mental picture of something you like but wish you didn’t with something similar you dislike, then move the first picture into the location of the second so the brain codes it the same way.

What is a driver submodality?

The driver submodality is the detail that, when changed, carries the others with it. It’s usually the location of the picture.

Does it matter how much you like the thing?

It still works. Sometimes the result is a strong “I don’t want that”, and sometimes it’s more of an “I’m not bothered either way”, which is still a big change from “I really need it”.

Can the Likes to Dislikes technique help with eating disorders or addiction?

No. It’s a coaching technique for everyday habits. Eating disorders, addiction and medical conditions need support from a qualified healthcare professional.

Want to learn NLP techniques like this?

Submodalities, Likes to Dislikes and the Swish Pattern are all part of my accredited NLP Practitioner & Breakthrough Coaching course, alongside rapport, the Meta and Milton Models, values and the GROW coaching model. The next cohort starts on the 23rd of October.

If you’d like to dip your toe in first, my £47 introductory courses are a lovely place to start.